Hiding In White Skin

Most will likely read the bold underlined part of the quote at the bottom of this article as being incorrect because after all there are very few people left in the USA who are 100% Native anymore. But notice that it does not say only those who are only of Native blood will
win the country back.


Something a Native American Elder told me in 2013 was that The Great Spirit Grand Father (God the Creator) gave this land to His red skinned people just He gave other lands to other groups of people. The elder said that it will be those with Native blood in our veins who will be the backbone of the country whose actions will bless many. He said that God did not give this land to the Natives to rip it out of their hands and given to a group of people who were demanding the land for themselves.


To the physical eye it may seem as though the Natives lost and that the wise chief's prediction never came true. But that would be a false assumption. A huge percentage of people in the USA have Native blood flowing within them and they don't even know it. Many do know though. Back in the day if a Native married a white they would put their children's race down on the census records as only white and they gave the children and their selves English names so that they appeared to be "safe" and white. The census taker would not know the difference since those in the household that looked Native just "happened" to be out hunting or working in the fields when the census takers came knocking.


The  government had been forcefully taking the Native kids and putting them into boarding schools not allowing them to speak their Native language or to practice their customs. The Native kids were not treated so nice which was a big reason why their true races were hidden on paper.


And much of white society had come to falsely believe that the Natives were horrible filthy people. That false belief became so common that even many Natives believed it about themselves.


Well, guess what? The Natives are still here in the USA living, working and owning land. But where are they you say? You don't see many Natives off the reservations so where are they? They are here hiding in white skin. Their skin colors may be largely bred out of existence but not their blood!


The DNA of the Natives flow in many millions of people and will not and can not die! Ultimately the Native out smarted the people who were trying to be rid of them.


So the next time you are blessed by someone keep in mind the Chief's prediction that his people will NOT die out, perhaps the person blessing you is of a Native tribe. Perhaps you are Native and don't even know it.......


The next time the EMS worker saves your life remember the wise chief's words because possibly and very likely that person who saved your life or the person who takes care of you in the hospital just might be one of the many descendants of a Native!


And to those who may think you don't have Native DNA you may be wrong. Since the census records were often lied to you can't be 100% sure that you don't have Native in you.


As with many things there have always been the good and bad in all groups of people. We can't put a blanket statement out there. Not all white people were land hungry thiefs. Some were hard working good people. There will always be the good and bad people from every group.


"My heart is a stone: heavy with sadness for my people; cold with the knowledge that no treaty will keep whites out of our lands; hard with the determination to resist as long as I live and breathe. Now we are weak and many of our people are afraid. But hear me: a single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong. Someday I will embrace our brother tribes and draw them into a bundle and together we will win our country back from the whites."
Tecumseh
(1768-1813) Shawnee Chief

Wise Words From A Chief

"Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about his religion.
Respect others in their views and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long and of service to your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
or even a stranger, if in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.
When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light,
for your life, for your strength.
Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.
Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.
When your time comes to die,
be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death,
so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time
to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home."
------
Tecumseh
(1768-1813) Shawnee Chief

Short but True, Powerfully True.

To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest." ----Flora Jessop

Celebrating His Death

It was one month ago that my Dad took his last breath. But he is in a much better place so we are happy for him. To celebrate his Heavenly homecoming we had DQ ice cream cake. He loved ice cream very much and passed the love of ice cream down to us.


It may seem strange to some that we celebrated the death of our loved one. But just think about it. He was 84 and lived a good life. His parkinson's disease was in its last stage making him miserable and sad. So his death was an escape from the sickness and troubles of this world. The death of his body did not kill him, what it did was to free his spirit to step right smack through Heaven's gate where he is now happy, healthy and enjoying his home (Heaven). He has had one month of being in his spirit's Home and knowing my Dad he is probably eating a big giant bowl of ice cream with Jesus.
I love and miss you Dad but I'm happy for you!

We Are So Differant but So Much Alike but I Love Her 😊 love ❤

I am child #8. My parents are old enough to be my grandparents and some of my siblings are old enough to be my parents. All 7 of my siblings are a lot older then me. Since I was so much younger then my siblings I had my parents to myself. I had a good childhood full of many fun times. My parents were/are good working Christian Americans.


But my mother and I have never been able to get along together real well. We both seem to bring the worse out in each other. I believe that one reason as to why we quarrel is because in some ways we are a lot alike and in other ways we are very different. I am mellow and she is high strung. So needless to say our approach to handling life differs from each other in many ways.


But we still have had many good times with each other. I know her the best out of my 7 siblings because after I got married and my husband went to prison I moved back home. Later on down the road my husband and I gained ownership of the farm house I was raised in. It was nice raising the kids there.


My parents lived next door to us and that was a blessing. My children got to walk across our yard daily to go be with their beloved grandma and grandpa. My parents helped raise our kids. Often times my parents baby sat for free and helped buy stuff the kids needed. My Dad wasn't able to leave home for long due to his Parkinson disease. But my Mom was able to get out and about some. So her and I did fun things with the kids such as going places like the zoo and dollar movies.


My parents loved/love my children very much. My Dad died last month at the age of 84. He wasn't able to take my kids camping and fishing like he did for his older grandkids when they were young. Sadly his Parkinson's disease was too advanced by the time my kids were born. So he would sit out on his porch pushing my kids in their baby swings so I could mow and do other chores. My Mom did a ton for my children. I'm so thankful for good parents and help.


This year my mom had a serious surgery on her spine that went bad. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks and then in a rehab nursing home for about a month or so. For 1 1/2 weeks she has been back home and I have been staying with her to help out until she gains more strength and regains her pre -surgery abilities.  We get along so well and so bad. Sometimes I'm desperate to get out and about to hang with people my own age. But Mom can't be left alone for long so my free time is limited.


Tonight after I put my mom to bed (she has trouble getting into bed ) she was crying and reached out for my hand asking me to pray so I did. She pulled down for a hug. As she held me she deeply cried saying that she is so thankful I've been here and that she couldn't do it on her own. That was a blessing for my heart to hear.


The poor woman had to go through a very painful surgery that didn't go right and during that time my Dad ended up being rushed to the hospital via EMS because as usual he tried standing up without help and he fell banging his head on something sharp. It caused him to have a brain bleed and be unresponsive although he could hear us and would squeez our hands when we asked him too. He was in the hospital dying for 3 days. My Mom was with him every day even in her painful state. Even though she was suffering she wanted to be at my Dad's side. So she did. She was there with him speaking lovingly to him as he took his last breaths.
Mom has always been a very strong willed hard working responsible adult and very independent. But now that she is suffering from the loss of her husband and the loss of much of her abilities she can sometimes get easily overwhelmed and lash out at me verbally. Sometimes I handle it in a mature way but sometimes I dont handle it well and I lash out too. But this past year especially this year she has been seeing and feeling my much of my emotions and worries. It helps bring us closer.
Her words to me tonight is a great gift to keep in my heart. Even though I often feel frustrated at having to take care if her so much I'm glad I am staying with her helping her heal.
So being the baby that lived next door to her in my adult years I have gotten to be with her and know her better then my 7 siblings. I thank God for that.
She is a blessing to me. I'm glad I can be here for her.

24 Years Ago Tonight Led To Happiness That Sadly Lead To Bad

Today is a painful reminder to me of the reality of the human heart, and that reality is that sometimes life goes wrong and people change.


Today 24 years ago I met the man who became my husband for over 21 years.
It started out with some hardships right off the bat with some people angry that I married him. The worse hardship was when he had to go to prison for about 3-4 months after we got married. He was in there for 3 1/2 years. During that time I moved back into my parents house and life went on with an empty void in my heart because I missed my husband.


When he got out of prison he became an over the road semi driver which made it to where we only saw each other about 2-4 days a month. I started feeling resentment that he was in prison for so long then got a job that kept him away from home. Later on that year I got to go with him on his driving job. It was nice seeing various parts of the country. But that isnt a healthy life sitting on one's butt all day and going to bed in a scolding hot humid semi that is falling apart and crappy. Later down the road I went home.


We loved each other, or at least I thought he loved me. Come to find out he didn't love me all that much but he did some. I kept asking for us to get marriage counseling over the years but it never happened. My husbands childhood was very abusive and he needed help. We both needed help. He didn't realize how hurtful his harsh words were and how painful it is to be neglected.


But despite the dysfunction we had good times too. I will always cherish those good memories.


We had two children. I could not work much due to child care costing so much and because of my worsening health from having chronic pancreatitis and brittle double diabetes. So needless to say we had money issues.


We both spouted painful things off a lot which contributed to killing the marriage. I felt so empty and unsupported. It seemed as though I was nothing but a bother to my husband. The love was not being fed. Throughout the past several years I kept praying for God to help us because I could not take any more grouchiness accompanied with other abusive behaviors. Thankfully he only physically abused me 4 times. It was the non physical forms of abuse that hurt the most. I felt that I must be a really bad person since my own husband can't even love me. I felt hopeless and empty, lost and alone, fat and unattractive. We didn't have the money to buy nice clothing, make up and jewelry but even if we did I figured I'd still look bad cause I'm too fat or my nose was too big or whatever. Often I had literally begged him to say something nice about me and the kids to us but it didn't happen so I just survived and cleaned house and did stuff with the kids. The kids were my social life.


Now due to the mistakes, insecurities and unresolved abusive childhood one thing led to another and now here we are divorcing. But the saddest part is the rumors, misunderstandings, slander, lying, revenge and so on. The kids are the ones hurt the most. It's a mess. A bad mess. It's heartbreaking.


So now here I am almost divorced and having to be alone. Am I perfect? No! It takes the actions of both spouses to cause a divorce usually. I am truly sorry for my part in all this. I real am sorry. I pray for my husband every night praying God blesses him with good health and happiness. I wish we could communicate with each other but we can't due do that anymore due to the need for a protective order due to some violence and vengeful acts.


So now here I am a single person. I was with my husband all of my adult years except for my 18th year.


I will always have a love for him in my heart. And I will always miss the good side of him, but the good memories keep getting flushed down the toilet as the new weird vengeful stuff come my way. And I'm no angel either, I said hurtful things as well. It takes two to tango. Sadly it has come to the end of us. Now we are no longer one but two. We aren't good for each other. Apparently we bring each other down and bring the worst out of each other. That isn't good to live with the worst of each other lashing out. So on we go in life separately beginning new lives with new friends. Yes it hurts but life goes on. I hope he has forgiven me for my wrongs. I'm working on forgiving him, it's coming, I will be able to forgive in time. God is helping me with that.


I'm enjoying my new friends. They bless me a lot. I have good times and good laughs with them. I'm looking forward in life. My friends love me for who I am no matter my mistakes in life. Now that is a sign of unconditional love like Jesus has.


If only my kids didn't have to be thrown around in all this mess. It is a sad shame. My husband's dad used parental alienation syndrome on my husband until he was so brainwashed that he didn't even remember that after his mom died that he had her parents and family who deeply loved him. His dad moved around a lot keeping the kids hid. Now my husband is choosing to do the same with our kids for whatever strange reason. Now my kids are the ones who get to suffer the most. And that is the worse of the worse in all this.


Choose to love, but don't allow any form of abuse in your marriage. Get marriage counseling and individual counseling befor it is too late.


Never ever put counseling off or else you could end up like my situation.


Choose unconditional love, loving them and treating them good no matter what they have done, but don't use that as an excuse to stay in an abusive marriage.


So now life goes on.....................

In Our Chest Where Our Soul Resides

Since my Dad is my first close-family-member to die Im experiencing the heart aches that people all around the world go through daily. Loss is not a knew thing for this world, we will all face a loss of someone close to us. But that doesn't mean it's easy to handle.






Some times I go about my normal daily routine as if nothing happened. Then the smallest of things will remind me of my Dad and that pain gathers in my chest where I believe our souls reside in our bodies. The soul is our feeler, our emotions, thoughts are all there. My soul hurts.




Sometimes I go about my day forgetting that he died, then I feel guilty for forgetting. The other day I was talking to someone about my parents and what their generation is like. I actually forgot my Dad was dead as I was talking about him as if he were still alive. Then I remembered that he is gone and that pain seized my soul once again. But I don't let it hold me back. Although when I'm out of the eyesight of others I will often break down and have a good cry as that painful grief attempts to escape.


I have often wondered how long these sudden out of the blue crying sessions will continue to torment my heart, soul and mind. People have told me that even 20 years after their loved ones death their heart, soul and mind still longs for their loved one, but the severity and intensity of it lessons.


I will go on. I will hurt. I will continue to love. But I will not let it destroy me.