We Are So Differant but So Much Alike but I Love Her 😊 love ❤

I am child #8. My parents are old enough to be my grandparents and some of my siblings are old enough to be my parents. All 7 of my siblings are a lot older then me. Since I was so much younger then my siblings I had my parents to myself. I had a good childhood full of many fun times. My parents were/are good working Christian Americans.


But my mother and I have never been able to get along together real well. We both seem to bring the worse out in each other. I believe that one reason as to why we quarrel is because in some ways we are a lot alike and in other ways we are very different. I am mellow and she is high strung. So needless to say our approach to handling life differs from each other in many ways.


But we still have had many good times with each other. I know her the best out of my 7 siblings because after I got married and my husband went to prison I moved back home. Later on down the road my husband and I gained ownership of the farm house I was raised in. It was nice raising the kids there.


My parents lived next door to us and that was a blessing. My children got to walk across our yard daily to go be with their beloved grandma and grandpa. My parents helped raise our kids. Often times my parents baby sat for free and helped buy stuff the kids needed. My Dad wasn't able to leave home for long due to his Parkinson disease. But my Mom was able to get out and about some. So her and I did fun things with the kids such as going places like the zoo and dollar movies.


My parents loved/love my children very much. My Dad died last month at the age of 84. He wasn't able to take my kids camping and fishing like he did for his older grandkids when they were young. Sadly his Parkinson's disease was too advanced by the time my kids were born. So he would sit out on his porch pushing my kids in their baby swings so I could mow and do other chores. My Mom did a ton for my children. I'm so thankful for good parents and help.


This year my mom had a serious surgery on her spine that went bad. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks and then in a rehab nursing home for about a month or so. For 1 1/2 weeks she has been back home and I have been staying with her to help out until she gains more strength and regains her pre -surgery abilities.  We get along so well and so bad. Sometimes I'm desperate to get out and about to hang with people my own age. But Mom can't be left alone for long so my free time is limited.


Tonight after I put my mom to bed (she has trouble getting into bed ) she was crying and reached out for my hand asking me to pray so I did. She pulled down for a hug. As she held me she deeply cried saying that she is so thankful I've been here and that she couldn't do it on her own. That was a blessing for my heart to hear.


The poor woman had to go through a very painful surgery that didn't go right and during that time my Dad ended up being rushed to the hospital via EMS because as usual he tried standing up without help and he fell banging his head on something sharp. It caused him to have a brain bleed and be unresponsive although he could hear us and would squeez our hands when we asked him too. He was in the hospital dying for 3 days. My Mom was with him every day even in her painful state. Even though she was suffering she wanted to be at my Dad's side. So she did. She was there with him speaking lovingly to him as he took his last breaths.
Mom has always been a very strong willed hard working responsible adult and very independent. But now that she is suffering from the loss of her husband and the loss of much of her abilities she can sometimes get easily overwhelmed and lash out at me verbally. Sometimes I handle it in a mature way but sometimes I dont handle it well and I lash out too. But this past year especially this year she has been seeing and feeling my much of my emotions and worries. It helps bring us closer.
Her words to me tonight is a great gift to keep in my heart. Even though I often feel frustrated at having to take care if her so much I'm glad I am staying with her helping her heal.
So being the baby that lived next door to her in my adult years I have gotten to be with her and know her better then my 7 siblings. I thank God for that.
She is a blessing to me. I'm glad I can be here for her.