Since my Dad is my first close-family-member to die Im experiencing the heart aches that people all around the world go through daily. Loss is not a knew thing for this world, we will all face a loss of someone close to us. But that doesn't mean it's easy to handle.
Some times I go about my normal daily routine as if nothing happened. Then the smallest of things will remind me of my Dad and that pain gathers in my chest where I believe our souls reside in our bodies. The soul is our feeler, our emotions, thoughts are all there. My soul hurts.
Sometimes I go about my day forgetting that he died, then I feel guilty for forgetting. The other day I was talking to someone about my parents and what their generation is like. I actually forgot my Dad was dead as I was talking about him as if he were still alive. Then I remembered that he is gone and that pain seized my soul once again. But I don't let it hold me back. Although when I'm out of the eyesight of others I will often break down and have a good cry as that painful grief attempts to escape.
I have often wondered how long these sudden out of the blue crying sessions will continue to torment my heart, soul and mind. People have told me that even 20 years after their loved ones death their heart, soul and mind still longs for their loved one, but the severity and intensity of it lessons.
I will go on. I will hurt. I will continue to love. But I will not let it destroy me.
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